In response to Bell Lets Talk Day I dedicate today’s piece to every individual suffering with their mental health.
Only By the Grace of God
I wake up dreading what you will bring. Inside I feel empty. My heart aches and the sadness is ever so present in the moment! I try to smile and pretend it’s okay but I can’t keep the smile for long. My mind races with thoughts I cannot stop; I want to stay in bed, fall asleep to never wake up again. I dream of the day I will no longer have to face you! I hate what you take away from me so often! It’s difficult to fake it, to pretend I am happy with the blessed life I’ve been given. I want to be alone! I will do anything not to pick up the phone, not to be in anyone’s presence. You take away my loved ones! In a split second waves of anxious thoughts and depression hit me like a freight train and there is nothing I can do to stop you. You take over not only my mind but my body as well; my dislike of food gets louder and my body can’t keep up the fight. It’s getting weaker by the day. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, there is nothing left to say, there is nothing more to add.
NOT TODAY, by the grace of God, I decide! You will not end this life! This life is blessed with love and kindness. I will accept Love and choose Love over all that you represent. I will fight you until my very last breath. I will keep that smile on my face and I will weather every thought with what is real and what is true. Opposite action is my reaction. Willingness is my power. My strength comes from God. I look up to Him for guidance and I choose to chase the endless possibilities to set you free!
Diaries of An Unrebelled Heart 